I’ve gone through therapy and tried so many methods to quell my panic disorder and the fear that comes with it, and while I’ve made a lot of progress, the latest episode of Doctor Who has given me the best outlook on fear that I’ve ever heard. It really hit me hard and touched me.
"Let me tell you about scared; your heart is beating so hard, I can feel it through your hands… so much blood and oxygen pumping to your brain, it’s like rocket fuel. Right now, you could run faster and fight harder, you can jump higher than ever in your life! And you are so alert it’s like you can slow down time. What’s wrong with scared? Scared is a super power, it’s your super power." - The Doctor to Rupert Pink
"Please, just listen, I know you’re afraid, being afraid is alright… fear is a super power. Fear can make you faster, and cleverer, and stronger, and one day…you’re gonna come back to this barn and on that day you’re going to be very afraid indeed, but that’s okay… cause’ if your’e very wise and very strong, fear doesn’t have to make you cruel or a coward… fear can make you kind… You’re always gonna be afraid, even if you learn to hide it, fear is like a companion, a constant companion always there… but that’s okay, fear can bring us together, fear can bring you home." - Clara to The Doctor as a child
Taking some time during the harvest moon to say THANK YOU to the universe and beyond this evening; I have cultivated so much and I am reaping much happiness. The past six months have been such a transformative period for me; quite honestly, it has been incredible. Through trials and tribulations, I have overcome and pressed forward and been rewarded with so many new, beautiful faces in my life and so many exciting opportunities. Just when I thought I couldn’t be happier with my personal successes, I meet ~the~ most amazing man and could not feel luckier.
Thank you to those of you who have given me chances and opportunities, thank you to those of you who have supported me, thank you to those of you who have made me question myself. I can only hope to grant that same happiness to others. PRESS ON even when you feel like a complete loser, keep your head up, strive to keep moving, and always be thankful! So many people are on your side, even when you don’t feel like they are!